The First Round

I was asked, today, if I was ready to see who God had ready for me to release to Jesus in the "ring." (see my last post) First, by prayer, I asked for forgiveness for my harboring of said fugitive. Next, I asked God to reveal to me, by his Holy Spirit, if He would show me; allow to come to the surface, those who have hurt me, or any past pains I have not dealt with.

He said to release my Mother.

For the better part of my life, I have felt like my Mom was always looking at me, seeing what was wrong, that she could fix. In my adulthood, it's been more, what she tells me I need to fix; in myself, or my children, house or my husband. Very exhausting trying to keep her at bay, sometimes.
Not to say, that there isn't the occasional breakthrough, where she tells me glorious things about myself, and builds me up.  Soon to be torn down, again.

So, I picture Mom standing in the ready, opposite corner in the ring from Jesus.
"Let her come to me," He says.  All my strength is then ZAPPED from me, as I let go of her; let go of trying to be the one that makes her see me for who I have become; let go of trying to be the one that "saves" her.
My coach, God, my Father grabs my face and tells me to only focus on Him, that this is not my fight. I have to look to Him to who I am, for Him to be the one to build me up. This struggle is hard, I want to run to her and tell her all that He wants to be to her.

The bell rings, signalling the first round, and the gloves come off! No, literally, Jesus looks with His graceful eyes, into my Mom and takes His gloves off, stretches His arms out wide to her and embraces her!  She stands there, arms at her sides, not participating in the love; not receiving anything He wants to give, but He will not let go. He's got her, I can rest knowing that and stop trying to do His job.

Remembering that God wants me to focus on Him alone, I feel that she is His, now.  He is faithful, loving and kind. She is safe with Him.

Let's Get Ready to Rumble!

I see a boxing ring, with one boxer and a coach.  The stadium is darkened, only the two individuals are in the ring. No announcer, no opponent.
For a minute I can't figure out who the boxer is, or even the coach, for that matter.
I hear a voice say, "I will fight for you."
Then I start to think that the boxer is me...but who is the coach? If someone is fighting for me, then , wouldn't I be the coach, telling the fighter who to fight?
I have to focus for a moment and I hear the voice again, "Let me fight for you!"
I realize the fighter and the coach both represent God, in two of His persons, The Father and Jesus.
"Show me your opponents," again, the same voice, but who would they be?


This is a vision I had two days ago, and after much more thought and prayer, I've come to know the ring is me.  The opponents are still waging the fight in me, but I have not acknowledged they are there. I've been denying that I still have some pain I haven't' dealt with, or allowed myself to feel. Denial.
How can God heal those parts inside of me if I don't even acknowledge they exist?  If I don't allow myself to feel the hurt way deep inside?
God wants me to let them come, so He can deal with them, give them a knock-out punch, if you will.  I have to be very careful that I don't do this alone.  My navigator (counselor) has given me permission to have a safe place for these things to be dealt with, for that I am thankful.


So, where is the Holy Spirit in all this?  Well, there is an audience cheering....supporting....who can see who is waiting in the wings for the next fight....I think He's there.